Regret happens and there is nothing you can do about it

I was walking to the post office in downtown San Mateo today and i saw a couple of women also walking, engaged in laughter and conversation. They were both college age, how youthful and innocent they looked. Then i compared their auroa to myself and got a slap in the face from reality. I'm mother*#%$kin fourty two years old!! Regret came into my thoughts almost as fast as the drowning feeling of self pitied lump in the throat. Let me explain. I spent alot of time by myself during my twenties and thirties. Night after night of me and the computer and the cat. I had a few frends, they got me out of the house once in a while but i mostly turned them down when they wanted me to join them. My going out and getting social times did not start till later in life. Now i'm getting old and no one i know from those days can still have a life. They are fathers, corporate slaves or inmates and some are worm food. Poor bastards. Some of them have not aged very gracefully at all. I don't know what i look like because the mirror lies. Pictures of myself come out distorted to me and even the ones that look ok show a guy thats screaming "what the fuck Pavel". If you are young and look good, get your ass out the door and hang out, meet women, don't hide. You will regret it later