Wait till you're....

40. I'm looking at myself as a 40 year old man who ... did uhhh.... created umm.... damn... i can't think of anything that i accomplished. i'm fighting off these depressing thoughts. I'll just jump back into the shadows of denial and ignorance. So my life didn't exactly turn out as well as it could have, but this is where i belong. I do not have much, not much in a way of accomplishments, trophys, awards. I'm like a fly on the wall eating a piece of turd wandering why the spider won't kill me. I did not land here and i'm not from the future. I come from a family tree heavily pruned starting with world war II. If the shears of fate don't get me, eventually I will be the only one on this small branch. Christmas and thanksgiving head count is a way to figure out if your branch is thin. Friends are here but i think there could be more, does the voice in my head count as a friend? He's kinda friendly, never borrows anything, pompous bastard tho, thinks he knows it all. As i get older i will grow more lonesome - of course i should have thought about that during the last couple of decades when the time to make friends was ripe, they are still there to be met, just have to lurk around the elks club with a harpers mag. And of course health will deteriorate. I have seen the top of the hill, i'm on my way down. I am not alone going downhill. I will be joined by the overall standard of living, also by the earths environment, and overpopulation will add some fellow travelers for the downward journey. Maybe i could be the guy in the crestor commercial too.